


How to get Your Captains to go On A Date

by boredom



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Humor, M/M, Scheming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-20
Updated: 2016-09-20
Packaged: 2018-08-16 08:50:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8095768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boredom/pseuds/boredom
Summary: A very reluctant Asahi is roped into helping the team get Suga and Daichi together. With all these crazy plans, are they going to succeed? More importantly, will Asahi survive the experience?





	

Asahi knew this week was going was going to be difficult the moment he walked into morning practice. The entire team was huddled in the corner, whispering to one another. But that wasn’t the most disturbing aspect. No, the most disturbing aspect was the fact that they all seemed to be getting along. Yamaguchi and Tsukishima were not antagonizing Hinata and Kageyama. Kageyama and Hinata were not arguing. Noya and Tanaka were not being loud. In fact, they were the perfect picture of teammates, all getting along and being friendly with one another. 

Now, any normal person would assume that the underclassmen had merely grown up, set aside their differences to finally work as a functioning team. They would be wrong. 

It seemed like this team thrived off of the fights and the chaos. This team couldn’t survive unless someone was snarky or arguing. And that fact made Asahi very, very nervous. 

“What are you guys doing?” 

The team jumped at the sound of his voice and turned around. 

“Are Suga and Daichi with you?” Noya asked, looking nervously for the two captains. 

It was worse than he feared. For Noya to be worried about running into them, these kids must have done something terrible!

“No, what are you doing?” Asahi asked again, trying to portray the same amount of authority and strength Daichi and Suga gave. Of course, he also wanted to shrink away under the watchful stares of his teammates. But no, he stood his ground, stood strong and was determined to see this problem through to the end. 

The group glanced at each other. 

“Should we tell him?” Hinata asked. 

Tsukishima shrugged. “He knows more about Suga and Daichi than we do. He could probably help.” 

Noya’s face split into a grin and Asahi found himself with an armful of Noya.

“We’re going to get Daichi and Suga together!” He was practically bouncing. 

Asahi felt the rest of the room hum with excitement. “What do you mean ‘get Daichi and Suga together’?”

Tanaka came up to his side and slapped Asahi on the back. “Well, our captains are in love with each other—“

“What!” 

“Yes, yes, it’s very clear. The way they glance at each other, talk to each other, everything about their interactions screams that they love each other,” Tanaka said. Noya nodded thoughtfully and the rest of the team beamed, except for Tsukishima and Kageyama, they just continued to scowl.

“If they’re so in love, then why don’t you think they’re already dating?” Asahi felt his face heating up. He did not want to talk about the love lives of his two best friends, especially when those lives were intertwined. 

“Because they’re too scared to admit it to each other and themselves,” Noya stated without hesitation. 

“What about Daichi and Suga makes you think they’re too scared to admit their feelings?” This was getting out of hand now. Asahi could deal with some rumors, but knowing these people, they were already planning on how to get the two together. And nothing good could come from the schemes. 

“Because, they don’t want to admit their feelings and possibly ruin the friendship. This causes the two of them to go in a constant loop where they force themselves to be okay with not being together, but they would be happier together, but they won’t ruin the friendship. You see?” Noya said. 

Asahi sighed. “Who’s been reading shoujo manga?” It sounded like something right out of a bad romance. 

Yamaguchi blushed and looked down at his feet. “My cousin makes me read them with her. But we’ve all noticed how Suga and Daichi act around each other!” 

Asahi shook his head. “Don’t meddle with their love lives. If they really love each other, then they should figure it out for themselves.” 

The team stared at him and Asahi sighed with relief. He had gotten through to them. They weren’t going to try and get the two together. 

“Let’s go over the plan again.” Noya hopped off of Asahi and walked back to the group. 

“Oh, come on!” Asahi cried. 

oOoOoOo

For some reason, Asahi was still roped into helping his two best friends get together. He had tried to explain to the team over and over and over again that it wasn’t going to work and that they were wasting their time, but they were convinced they could get Suga and Daichi together by the end of the day. 

“Don’t you want to see them happy?” Hinata asked. 

Asahi could feel his anxiety building up, burning his stomach and heart. He wasn’t going to make through the day. Hell, he probably wasn’t going to make it through practice at this rate. 

“Okay, let’s go over the plan one more time,” Tanaka said. “Hinata, you talk to Daichi about something, anything, just keep him in place. Kageyama, you stand slightly behind Daichi and call Suga over. When Suga is in front of Daichi, someone throw a ball at him so Daichi is forced to catch him. Any questions?” 

“Who’s going to throw the ball?” Tsukishima asked. 

“Whoever’s in the best position to throw it.” Tanaka looked very proud of his plan. 

“Isn’t throwing a ball at Suga a bit dangerous?” Asahi asked. Visions of concussions were flashing in his head. 

“Nonsense. We’re not going to lob him in the head with it,” Noya said. “We’re just going to make him off balance enough so that Daichi has to catch him.”

“And then what? They’re going to start making out in the middle of the court?” 

Noya scoffed. “No, They’ll stare lovingly into each other’s eyes and realize they feel the same way and then go on a date.” 

“There are so many things that could go wrong,” Asahi groaned. 

“No, there are so many things that could go right!” Noya flashed him a thumbs up as the door opened. 

Suga and Daichi walked in, chatting idly about homework or something. Asahi felt like he should go warn his friends about the attack that was about to take place. One look at Noya’s face put that thought out of his mind. He didn’t want to be the one that ruined all the hard work. Plus, they were getting along extremely well which could help with their techniques. 

Coach Ukai called the players together and Asahi missed his chance. He just hoped Suga would walk away from this practice without any bruises. 

oOoOoOo

The practice was winding down and Asahi thought Hinata and Kageyama might have backed out and decided not to put Suga in harm's way. Except an orange blur rushed past Asahi and stopped at Daichi. Hinata quickly got his attention and began bombarding the poor guy with tons of questions. Asahi’s heart sped up as Kageyama took his place behind Daichi and called Suga over. 

He wanted to cover his eyes, to look away, to not witness this train wreck happening. But he couldn’t. It seemed as though time had slowed down. Each step Suga took lasting minutes. The other players noticed as well, nodding to one another as they prepared for the final blow. 

Hinata moved, opening Daichi up so he could easily grab Suga. It was a small movement, one Daichi probably didn’t notice. But Asahi saw everything. Suga was coming closer to Daichi. Maybe he would swing behind him instead of going in front, thus making it impossible for Daichi to catch him and ruining the plan. Sadly, Kageyama seemed to realize this as well and stepped to the left, ensuring that Suga would have to pass in front of Daichi to get to him. 

Asahi made a noise in the back of his throat. Couldn’t Suga move any faster? He wanted this plan to fail so that the team would give up on this ridiculous idea of getting Suga and Daichi together. 

Suga was now in front of Daichi, at the optimal catching position. Asahi watched with horror as Noya slapped a ball in his direction. Asahi followed its graceful arc and watched as it smacked the side of Suga’s head, along with three other balls hitting his side, legs, back of the head, and one rolling across the floor, effectively tripping him.

“Suga!” Daichi did manage to grab him before he hit the ground. However, they did not stare lovingly into each other’s eyes as Tanaka had predicted. “Are you alright?” Daichi helped right Suga on his feet, steadying him as Suga rubbed the back of his head. 

“Yeah, I think so. How many balls hit me?” 

“Oh my God, Suga! I’m so sorry!” Noya cried, running up to the captain. He forgot the balls were still rolling on the floor and stumbled over one, landing on the ground with a smack. 

“Are you okay?” Hinata asked. He was holding the side of his cheek and Asahi realized that the ball that had smacked Suga in the side of the head had bounced and smacked Hinata too. 

“Yeah, I’m fine. You guys really need to work on your aim,” Suga said, trying to smile, though with the pain it came out as more of a grimace. 

“Suga, you and Hinata go to the nurse and make sure you’re alright,” Coach Ukai called. “Tsukishima, go with them just in case.”

Tsukishima paused. “Maybe Daichi should go—“

“Just go.” Ukai glared at him. Tsukishima quickly followed Suga and Hinata. 

Asahi sighed and looked at the remaining team. “I hope you learned your lesson about meddling in other people’s affairs. 

oOoOoOo

Kageyama slammed a piece of paper in front of Asahi, making him jump. 

“I figured out how to get Suga and the Captain together.” 

Asahi groaned and laid his head on his desk. “Seriously, wasn’t this morning bad enough? The whole side of Suga’s face is bruised!” 

“This one won’t hurt him. We take his gloves, hat, and jacket. Daichi gives him his. Suga insists they walk home together so Daichi can get his jacket back. They realize they love each other. End of story.” 

“Why do you think this will work?”

“Why don’t you want to see Daichi and Suga happy?” 

Asahi jumped and turned to see Noya and the rest of the team piled behind him.

“I do want to see them happy, but isn’t this going a little far? They’re smart guys and if they wanted to be together, then they would be together. I don’t think we should force it with these elaborate plans.” 

The team blinked at him. 

“Who’s going to take Suga’s things?” Yamaguchi asked. 

Asahi groaned and decided that at least this one wasn’t going to hurt Suga. “I’m telling you guys, it won’t work.” 

Noya put his hands on Asahi’s cheeks and forced him to stare into the other’s eyes. “Asahi, believe in the power of love!” 

The rest of the team cheer, except for Kageyama and Tsukishima. Tsukishima adjusted his glasses and Kageyama just lifted his arms. 

“When will you guys give this up?”

“When our captains are smooching!” Tanaka said. 

oOoOoOo

It was after practice, everyone was sweaty and exhausted. But there was an undercurrent of excitement that buzzed in the locker room. Asahi wondered in Suga and Daichi felt it. If they did feel it, they weren’t talking about it. 

Suga dug through his locker, biting his lip. The rest of the team watched, holding their breaths as the scene unfolded before them.

“What wrong?” Daichi asked. 

“My coat’s missing. I could have sworn I put it in here,” Suga said. He opened a neighboring locker and checked in there. 

“Maybe you put it on the bench and somebody else grabbed it?” Daichi opened up some other lockers, helping Suga look for his coat. 

Asahi looked at the teammates, trying to determine which one stole the coat. Tsukishima was fiddling with his glasses more than usual, taking them off, cleaning them, adjusting them. Asahi glared at him and Tsukishima quickly lowered his eyes. Yep, he was definitely the culprit. Asahi wondered when Suga’s coat was going to come back into his possession. 

“It doesn’t appear to be here. Sorry, Suga,” Daichi said, closing the locker door. 

The team sucked in a breath. This was it. Daichi would give Suga his coat and they would realize their love for each other. Except Daichi knew better. He knew Suga better than anyone else. 

“I guess I’ll have to use one of my spares then,” Suga said, smiling at Daichi.

The tension in the room vanished. 

“Spares?” Yamaguchi asked. 

“Yeah, during the winter I keep extras around just in case the one I’m wearing gets wet. I have a couple in the club room so feel free to use them if you need them,” Suga said. He waved to the team and left the locker room.

“Okay, who wants pork buns?” Daichi asked. 

“You’re not going to go with Suga?” Noya asked. 

Daichi blinked at them. “No, why would I do that? He has a key to the club room.”

Everyone’s shoulders slumped and they followed Daichi out the door to get pork buns. 

“I told you it wouldn’t work. Now will you leave them alone?” Asahi hissed in Noya’s ear.

oOoOoOo

As much as Asahi hated messing with Suga and Daichi’s personal life, he also hated the dejected looks on the team’s faces when they realized getting two people together was a lot more difficult than shoujo manga made it seem. 

“They’re perfect for each other,” Noya grumbled, flicking a rock across the table. 

“What else can we do?” Yamaguchi was slumped down in his chair, scuffing his heels on the ground. 

Asahi tried to smile and cheer up the group. “Look, if they’re meant for each other, then they’ll get together. Maybe now just isn’t the right time. Forcing a relationship before it’s ready will only lead to heartbreak.” 

The group mumbled a response. 

Tsukishima perked up. “Wait, Yamaguchi, you read shoujo manga, how do two characters normally get together.”

Asahi finally lost it. “Okay, look, Suga and Daichi are guys! They are not two characters in a crappy love story that dance around each other until one of them is injured, or dying, or forced to become a moon princess!”

“What the hell is a moon princess?” Tanaka asked. 

“They are guys. Living, breathing individuals who will get together when they want to get together! And if they do get together, it won’t be because some teammates decided to meddle with their lives! It won’t be because Suga lost his jacket, or was hit in the head by a ball! It will be because they both recognize their feelings and are mature enough to handle them like adults!” Asahi panted. He was not used to outbursts like that. 

The group sat there, stunned at the speech. Asahi never raised his voice. He was always quiet and timid. For him to shout like that, he must have felt strongly about Suga and Daichi’s relationship. 

“Maybe they just need to see each other naked?” Tanaka suggested. 

Asahi could have cried right then and there. In fact, he felt a few tears escape. These people were clueless. Why was he still hanging around them?

“That won’t work. They change together all the time. I’m pretty sure we’ve all seen Suga and Daichi naked at one point.” Noya sighed. 

“What about a love note?” Yamaguchi suggested. 

“What? Like we write a love note from Suga to Daichi, and vice versa?” Hinata asked. 

“No, like a girl writes a love note to one of them, the other gets jealous. They get into an argument. And during the argument, they confess their love.” 

The group was quiet for a moment, looking thoughtfully at the prospect. 

“But who should we give it to?” Kageyama asked. 

“If we give it to Daichi, Suga might just pretend to be supportive so Daichi can find happiness.” Noya stroked his chin. 

“It could work the other way too,” Tanaka said. “But Daichi is a lot more forceful than Suga. He probably gets more love letters and confessions so Suga is probably used to dealing with it. Daichi, on the other hand…”

Yamaguchi’s face split into a smile. “Yeah. If Daichi isn’t used to seeing girls confess their love for Suga, he won’t know how to handle his feelings and everything should come spilling out.”

Asahi perked up. He could see a light at the end of the tunnel. He was so happy he managed to find this flaw. It would crush this plan once and for all. “You guys don’t have a love letter, though.” He beamed, glad to have noticed this one detail. “And none of your handwriting is good enough to pass for a girls'. They’ll know who it is right away!” 

Tsukishima dug through his backpack and put a piece of paper on the table. 

“What’s that?” Asahi asked, his heart starting to beat again. 

“A love note. It doesn’t have my name on it or anything and she wants to meet tomorrow during lunch. We can slip it into Suga’s backpack during practice.” 

Asahi’s smile fell. Why couldn’t these plans fail? Well, they had all failed. Why couldn’t these guys just give up?

oOoOoOo

Once again the team was in the locker room, exhausted and ready to go home. But they couldn’t, not until they saw what happened with the love note.

“Did you find your coat?” Daichi asked. 

“Yeah, it was at the front office this morning. Someone must have taken it by accident.” Suga pulled out his backpack and made a surprised noise.

“What is it?” Daichi leaned over to look at the small piece of paper in Suga’s hand.

Suga sighed. “Another confession. I don’t know if I’ll be able to meet her, another girl wants to meet at the same time.” 

Everyone except for Daichi and Asahi looked up in surprise. 

“What do you mean ‘another girl’?” Noya asked nervously. 

Daichi laughed. “Suga gets so many of these things he has a calendar just to keep the appointments straight.” 

The team looked at Suga and Daichi. 

“So this isn’t a rare occurrence?” Tanaka asked. 

“Nope, sadly. I feel bad telling all these girls no.” Suga folded the letter and put it in his backpack. 

“Alright, who wants pork buns?” Daichi asked. 

The team dejectedly raised their hands and followed Daichi out of the locker room. This time, Suga did go with them. Except that wasn’t how the plan was supposed to go. 

“Can you guys please give this up, now?” Asahi begged. They couldn’t keep up these plans forever. They were all going to fail.

oOoOoOo  
Once again Asahi was confronted with a very dejected team. The failure last night seemed to be the final straw and there were no more plans coming forth. Asahi was glad about that. But he still felt sorry it was over. It was actually kind of nice to see the entire team, minus Suga and Daichi, working together towards a common goal. This week, there had been less fighting and a camaraderie that most teams could only dream of. 

Asahi hoped the group could find another topic to bring them together. But he wasn’t so naïve as to believe that would happen. There were too many strong personalities. 

The gym doors opened and Suga and Daichi came in. They weren’t chatting, this time, instead looking very worried. 

“Is everything alright?” Suga asked. 

The group glanced at each other. They couldn’t lie to Suga, mostly because he was like a breathing lie detector. But to tell the truth would be equally harsh, as they would have to admit to meddling in the personal lives of their captains. Noya was the one to take the plunge. 

“Look, this week we’ve been trying to get you two together!” 

Suga and Daichi stared at him. 

Daichi raised his eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

“Daichi, we can tell you love Suga—“

“What?!” Daichi’s face turned red.

“And Suga, we can tell you love Daichi—“

“Wait a second!” Suga’s eyes widened.

“But you two won’t get together for some reason. So we decided to do something about it!” Noya said. 

The room was silent before Suga spoke. “So I’m guessing the balls, missing coat, and love letter were all part of this plan?” 

The group looked down at the floor. They were going to get an unimaginable tongue lashing for this. And then they were going to have to run laps. Suga’s laughter made them look up. He was doubled over, slapping his knee. 

“S-suga!” Tanaka cried. 

Daichi was smiling and shaking his head. “I can’t believe you guys were trying to get us together.” 

“But you guys are so perfect!” Hinata cried.

Yamaguchi stood up. “Yeah, the way you look at each other…”

“And you seem to trust each other,” Tanaka added. 

Suga took some deep breaths and finally stopped laughing. “You guys are right, but you’re a little late.” 

“What?” Tsukishima asked. 

“Suga and I started dating at the end of our first year. We seem perfect together because we are together,” Daichi said. He was still smiling, looking thoroughly amused by the whole thing. 

The team was silent. 

“See, this is why I told you guys not to meddle,” Asahi said. 

“Wait, you knew?” Noya cried, jumping on him so he was at eye level. 

“Yeah, Asahi caught us,” Suga paused, “making out at the beginning of our second year.” 

Noya glared at Asahi, who merely gave a weak smile. “I told you guys to just leave it alone,” he said. 

“Since you guys decided to meddle, how about you run laps until Coach gets here?” Daichi said, switching into his captain voice. 

The team groaned and began to jog. As Asahi passed Tanaka and Noya, he heard their conversation.

“So Suga and Daichi was a bust. But Coach Ukai and Takeda-sensei seem to have the hots for each other,” Noya whispered. 

“Hey, you’re right. Gather everyone after practice. We’ll start planning.” 

Asahi sped up. There was no way he was getting caught up in their schemes again. He lost ten years of his life this week with all the anxiety that had built up in him. 

oOoOoOo

Takeda breathed a sigh of relief when he heard the last of the players leave the gym to go run. He was very glad Daichi had decided to make them run laps. Why, he didn’t know. 

“I told you we should have waited until after practice,” Ukai said, pulling on his clothes. 

“If you had come earlier we would have been finished.” Takeda patted the ground for his glasses. He really should get some contacts. 

“I just don’t get why we have to sneak around like teenagers. We have our own places. And a bed is much more comfortable than a cramped closet.” Ukai handed him his glasses, kissed his lips and stepped out of the closet. 

Takeda turned red. How could Ukai act so nonchalant at school? It didn’t matter. They were doing an excellent job keeping it a secret from the kids. It wasn’t like the team was going to try to get them together, after all.


End file.
